Self Care Tips
I think self care really important that you have something. That you can look forward to on a daily basis. And that you claim some time for yourself. You let your care receiver know that this is your time. And you do not want to be disturbed. So this is how she dealt with that. She said, “The one place where I don’t give in to Quentin is when I want to sit up and read at night.
He never wanted me to do that when he was well. Now, he says he can’t sleep if I’m sitting in the living room. I have the light on, and the noise of the turning pages, bothers him. Well he never has any trouble sleeping in the daytime. The dishwasher can be going; the TV can be on, and the sweeper running. He can sleep without any problem. So I told him last night, not to worry if he couldn’t sleep while I was reading. Because he wouldn’t have any trouble when it’s daytime and I’m working. I need some time for myself, and if he can’t sleep. He will just have to stay awake.” And she stuck to that.
That was her time. She would get him to bed. They went through a ritual every single night, and she would say goodnight. They would say their prayers. She would perform Reiki on him. She would get him tucked in, and that was it. And once she got him there, he knew that she was going to go read, and he was not to bother her.
Another woman I know loved to do meditation. She moved both parents in with her. They both had Alzheimer’s, if you can imagine having them both live with you. And so she decided that she needed. What she loved to do was listen to music and meditate. She wanted to do that for 30 minutes a day. Well, of course, whenever she would sit down and start the music. Start to meditate, they would want to come in and talk to her, or be around her.
Do not bother Victoria
Finally, she went and bought these stanchions like you see in a movie theater. That were set up here and then had the velvet cord in between. She put up a sign that says, “Do not bother Victoria.” And they knew that, then. When they saw that was up – and she had to do that several times. But when they saw that cord was up, they knew. That she was going to to be there. And that they couldn’t talk to her for 30 minutes. But they also knew that it would come down. So she claimed that time for herself every day. And I don’t think it matters too much what you decide to do.
Maybe for you, it’s taking a walk. Maybe it’s having a telephone conversation. Or maybe it’s having a cup of coffee with a friend. Maybe it’s taking a hot bath with the door closed by yourself. Without any interruptions. Whatever it is, though, think about something that you could do that. You could enjoy on a daily basis and set that time aside. And the second thing, then, is get the right equipment. Any job you’re doing is easier if you have the right equipment.
One of the things you can do is just observe, if you’re caring for somebody at home, observe the things that they’re having difficulty with. And you don’t have to figure out how to fix it. You can go to a medical supply store and figure out how to do that. This is what Madelyn said, “I came up with an idea in the middle of the night that Quentin approves of. Our bathroom door opens back toward the toilet stool, so it makes it very difficult for him to get around it with the walker.
I suggested we take the door off, and hang it the other way. By changing the way it swings, he can use his walker to get into the bathroom. As it is now, he has to use the cane to get into the bathroom, and that’s not very satisfactory, when he’s so wobbly. I also suggested putting a railing on the wall next to the stool, and he thought that was a good idea. We will get the materials when we go to town tomorrow. I’m also going to see about a monkey bar type thing that they have on hospital beds to help a person get up.
I want to see if I can get one that will work on his bed.” And you heard in the story earlier that she had my brother come home and install a ceiling hoist over the bed, and that saved her back tremendously, and that allowed her to strap this belt on and then help lift him up. And of course, there are chairs, as you know, that can help lift people up, and shower transfer stools, and a myriad of things that you can do to make the job easier on yourself.
As found on Youtube