Six Survival Tips
How you gonna survive D’s Nuts? – Let’s talk about survival tips. (funky electronic music) (fire crackles) – Good Mythical Morning. – Get our wild Post Apawcalypse shirts. It’s part of our Mythical storywear collection at Mythical.store. – Now you probably already know that my survival instinct is one of my most well developed instincts, right after my basic instinct instinct which is my instinctive ability to know if Basic Instinct is on TV at any given time.
But today Link, I’m gonna test your survival instincts and I’m gonna also enlist some Mythical team members to come up with some crazy fake answers as we go. It’s time for D’s Nutz: Crazy Survival Tips. Okay Link, just like our typical multiple choice game, I’m gonna read you a question with some answers. As you know, our D options are typically just jokes.
- Some better than others. – Yes. For today, the D option, I’m gonna actually turn to our Mythical team members for a little help. – Oh there they are. – Hey. – Yes, we’ve got Christine, Jordan and Emily. So they’re gonna be giving us the D answers. – Because D is gonna be nuts. – It’s always gonna be nuts! – Okay. – Every time. – Yeah. – It’s gonna be nuts so what we’re gonna do is I’m gonna give you those answers and then I’m going to give them the opportunity to buzz in and get their D answer.
- As many as they want, I mean one apiece, but as many of the people can go if they want and then I’m going to pick the one that’s my favorite. You can help me with that if you want to. – Sure. – And then at the end, if you get three of these questions right, you’re going to get to share a very special prize with a person who got the D the most.
- All right, I’m ready. – All right. Here’s the first question. Ain’t no party like a solo sailboat party out in the deepest part of the ocean that you didn’t tell anyone you were throwing. – Bad idea. – But if you boat capsizes and you’re treading water alone, what item can you use from your person, that’s yourself, to increase your chances of survival? – Okay. – Can you A, turn your pants into a makeshift life perver, preserver? – Perverter? – Perverter. Preserver! B, turn your shoe laces into a makeshift fishing line.
C, turn your socks into a makeshift water filter, or D. (electronic chime) Christine. – Turn down for what? – Oh! (chuckles) Yeah. Emily. – You’re gonna take out your human hair and make a small human out of your human hair and then you have a friend and you’ll never die alone. – Ooh, nice. (electronic chime) Jordan? – You can turn your fedora into a signifier to show all these seagulls that you’re the annoying guy at brunch. (Rhett laughs) – The old fedora signifier. I like a hair doll– – Hey seagulls! I got some hot Star Wars takes. Is what the fedora is saying. – As much as I like the signifier, you know what, I think I gotta go with Christine, turn down for what? I mean you know, that was consistent with the theme.
- I like being friends with a hair doll, so, if you can make those for me. – Okay. – What is your answer? – Sock as a water filter? – Mm-hmm. – That’s my guess. – Well Link, you’re wrong. – Oh. – It’s A, your pants, you simply tie the ankles together in a air-tight knot– – And then (blows air). – Then hold the waist open and fly it around to collect air, hold the waist under water and pop the ankles over your neck. Voila, life vest. And the other great thing about this is whoever rescues you will get to see your junk.
- Well I’m wearing underwear. – Next question, unfortunately not every deserted island has a Ralphs or even a CVS. If you find yourself hungry for protein and you need to fish but you don’t have bait, what can you use to lure your next meal? – Okay. – A, hair. B, spit, C, a scab, or D. (electronic chime) Jordan. – Your dad’s Netflix password. – Oh. – Because the fish have really been hearing some good things about Russian Doll.
(Rhett laughs) They just haven’t been able to make time to see it so you’re like hey, you can use my dad’s Netflix password and then you know, hey can be all caught up for their Tinder dates when you have to talk about that kinda thing. (electronic chime) – Christine. – A really good picture of yourself from a few years ago and like a flirty caption ’cause nothing lures a meal like looking like a snack so.
Ooh. – Lookin’ like a snack. – Nice, okay, you know what. – Fish like snacks. – I have heard good things about that Russian Doll so I think I’m gonna have to go with Jordan. – Uh, but I would like a snack. – What’s the real answer, Link? Any of these seem, spit or scab, mm, could both work. I think a scab is a tasty fish snack. – Okay, you’re wrong. The answer is B, spit. The fish will think the spit is food and swarm to it and incidentally this is also how my wife and I met.
That’s not the way he met his wife. – Okay we all know the robot apocalypse is nigh. At this point it’s all about preparation. According to Dr. Robert Richardson of Leeds University, what’s the best way to stave off an invading robot army? Is it A, paint your shelter with straight lines and different configurations to confuse their visual sensors, B, build a short rock wall around your shelter with a moat behind it to short circuit their electronics, C, light numerous fires on the outskirts of your shelter to distract their heat sensors, or D, Jordan.
- I think you eat a little bit of metal every day until you develop a taste for robot flesh. – Mm. – Oh turn the tables. – Yes, Christine. – I think you would build alliances with the robots and invest money into robot communities and just build a long-lasting friendship with the robots and also flame-throwers. – Ooh, nice. – Also flame throwers. – Christine 2020. (chuckling) – Okay you know, I like to eat and sometimes I like to eat metal. So Jordan you get the D. – Thank you, Daddy. (laughing) – Link, what’s your answer?
- You know what, I think that the rock wall and the moat is a killer combination for robots. B. – You know what, you’re going to die because the answer is A, you paint your shelter with lines, they’re visual. – It’s all hypothetical. – Their visual sensors will likely struggle with complex patterns and if it turns out the robot apocalypse isn’t real, you can just say it’s a Banksy. (chuckles) – Boom. – All right the best way to stay alive when you’re stranded in the wilderness is to always be prepared with handy multi-functional tools.
Which of the following personal items can help provide drinking water, fire, and a weapon in an emergency, all three of these things? A– – Water, fire and weapon. – A condom. B, reading glasses. C, sleeping bag liners. Or D. (electronic chime) Jordan. – An Inspector Gadget. Remember that show– (laughing) From the late 80s? – Just add one of those. – Come on, 80s kids get me, right? ♪ Duh duh duh duh Inspector ♪ ♪ DuckTales ♪ – Big fan of Penny.
- DuckTales. – I’m just, I’m relying on nostalgia. – Oh okay good, good, yeah. – For approval. – Emily? – I’m gonna say Timothee Chalamet. He’s really versatile. (laughing) – He is, yeah he’s good in everything. He’s good in everything. – I like that, okay Emily– – Very sharp. – You get the D. You get the D. Link, what’s the answer? – I’m gonna go with Timothee Chalamet. – Ooh, that’s not, well it is an option, but it’s– – B, reading glasses.
start a fire
There’s glass involved and I know that can start a fire. – The answer is A, condom. (laughs) – What? – A condom can be used to store water, it’s also highly flammable and can be used as kindling and is super stretchy and can be used to fashion a slingshot. It can also be used during sex with a mirage. (laughs) – What if you bought the condoms like 10 years ago and you haven’t used ’em yet, could you still like, you know, maybe use ’em for this? – Yeah, I’m sure, yeah. – Cool.
Yeah that’s what I meant to do then. (laughing) – Okay Link, you’re horrible at this game. – Can you give him a pity point and me actually. – You’re going for the queen negative sweep at this point. Always pack a lunch– – Survivin’ ain’t easy. – If you’re venturing out into the wilderness alone. But if you do find yourself stuck in the middle of nowhere with no food, you can use the universal edibility test to decide if a plant you come across will nourish you or kill you.
How do you test if something is edible?
You A, spit on it, then smell it. B, rinse it in water, then hold it up to the sun. C, smell it, then rub it on your arm, or D. (electronic chime) Emily. – You eat it and then you wait and you see if you die. (laughing) – Jordan. – You squish it between your butt cheeks and say, I’m a good boy. (laughing) (electronic chime) – Christine. – You wrap it up and you smoke it but that may make you more hungry. – Ooh ho ho ho ho. – Whoa, dude. – Whoa! (Jordan coughs) – I like Emily’s technique, she gets the D.
- But I think the correct answer is C, you smell it and then rub it on your arm but you may lose an arm. – Ding ding ding. – Yes! – Link, you’re right. You got one right, yes, you check it for strong unpleasant odors and then you rub it on your skin and wait a few minutes to make sure it doesn’t burn, itch, or give you a rash. So basically like dating in college. (crew member laughs) (team laughing) – Darren. – Yeah! – Okay. Last one. Our bodies are 60% water and we need to constantly replenish it or we’ll die. – Sure, always stay hydrated. – But if you’re out in the wilderness without a source of water and it’s not raining, you can harvest some water with what two objects? A, a spiderweb and a spoon.
B, a handful of moss and a brick. C, a plastic bag and a rock, or D. (electronic chime) Jordan. – A penis and decent aim. (laughing) (cackles) – That’s good. – Bear Grylls did that, yeah. – Yes, mm-hmm. (electronic chime) Christine. – A Postmates delivery and a smile. – Oh ho ho ho, yes. (electronic chime) Emily. – A dirty half-full Nalgene bottle you found in the lost and found and your own tears. – Aw. – You know what, I think you probably would have cell service out there these days so I’m gonna give the D to Christine.
Woo woo! – Postmates. – Link, what is your answer?
I think the correct answer is a… (sputters) A handful of moss and a brick, B. – No. – I don’t know why– – It’s plastic bag and a rock. – A rock? – So you drop the rock in the bag, you create a reservoir, then tie the bag tightly around a branch with leaves on it and water will evaporate out of the leaves and condense at the bottom of the bag. Now if you tie them around a tree in Guy Fieri’s yard, you get Mountain Dew, so just be very aware of that.
Okay, Link, you only got one right and our panelists each got two Ds! – Ooh, good work guys. – Which means, guys, the three of you get to share D’s Nut Butter. Oh D’s Nutz Butter. (chuckles) Link, you don’t get any of it, as much as you would like it ’cause you only got one right. – All right, good work Mythical team though. All of your answers were always wrong. – (chuckles) Yes they were.
Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing. – You know what time it is. – I’m Pedro and I’m at the Amazon Basin in Brazil and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Amazon Basin. – Careful. Click the top link to watch us match the team member to their desert island survival items in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – We insist that you grab some of these Mythical bands for your wrists. Collect all five now at Mythical.store and tell us how much you love them by leaving a review on the product page. .
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